www.simoncollier.ca

The cause of the rotting caggage-like smell has been discovered: About a week ago it seems the ultra-effective mouse trap was successful in catching and behedding a resident rodent. I didn’t realise this was the case. Days later a slightly mouldy, somewhat deflated-looking shrivelling corpse of a mouse was found by my room mate’s girlfriend as she swept the floor. (Yes, my room mate’s girlfriend SWEEPS OUR FLOOR. I hope their relationship is long and happy.

Or, at least long.)

When I started to pick the mouse up by the mouse-trap, the mouse started to peel apart. The process of decomposing made the shrivelling, shrinking body “gooey” and it’s innards effectively glued half of the mouse to the floor. As I began lifting the body up it started to tear into two pieces. This, coupled with the cabbage-smell memories and the eggs benedict I had just eaten did not combine well. I turned a little bit green and put the mouse (bits of mice?) down.

What is a healthy, fit, 27-year old male supposed to do in a situation where there is a nasty, smelly dead rodent covered in mould and disintegrating on the floor that a young lady is trying to sweep?

I got her to clean it up.

What? She was cleaning anyway!

Oh, fine, I probobly should have done it. But really, it was gross.

Today I got home to find my apartment smelling of rotting cabbage. I have no idea where it’s coming from, I just get an occassional waft as I wander near the kitchen, but whenever I close in on what I THINK is the offending item the trace disappears.

Eventually I imagine there will be a trail of maggots and flies that can lead me to it, as my nose is not quite good enough. I do worry about what I will find though, I haven’t bought cabbage… well, ever.

Capital One called me a few months ago. Here’s how the phone call went. (I’ll call the guy Abu.)

Abu: Hello sir, this is Abu calling from Capital One. You have already been approved for one of our credit cards with no annual fee, and we can sign you up for this over the phone right now. Can I get your name as you’d like it to appear on the card?

Simon: What? Hang on, I didn’t say I want one yet. What’s the interest rate?

Abu: The interest rate is 19.9%, sir.

Simon: Right. Well, I’m happy to give you my business, but you need to at least do better than my existing credit card company. My current credit card has an APR of 18.9% with no annual fee.

Abu: Ah. Well, thank you for your time, sir.

Capital One sent me an offer this week for another new credit card. Maybe I should feel privileged that they have finally stopped sending me offers that start with “Got bad credit? Apply for this card!”. Their past offers were also at 19.9% APR. Their new card offers 7% APR, which is great! So I thought I’d check out the fine print. Here’s the deal:

Prime + 1% APR unless you are late with two payments, then it goes to 19.9% APR. Hmm, okay, fine.

Here’s the bit I find interesting:
“You will have a minimum of 25 days without finance charge on your new purchases… if your total New Balance is paid in full each month by the payment due date.”

Translation: If you have ANY amount outstanding on your card (i.e. you don’t pay the whole thing off each month), then every purchase you make will be charged interest from the moment you buy it.

What???!

I would call to confirm my understanding is correct, but they are careful not to list a phone number anywhere on the 5 pages of information they sent me. WTF??

So the moral? Watch out for Capital One.